Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
