Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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