Need sex. Gaining weight.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
