I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
