Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Randomize