i jhust puked up my retainher.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
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