He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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