wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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