Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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