sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Randomize