Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
