I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
No subtext here. People are naked.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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