I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Randomize
