I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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