Will you blow on my dice?
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Randomize
