My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
