he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
We need to feng shui this bitch.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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