I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
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