It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Randomize
