I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Randomize
