3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
