I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
How does one acquire holy water?
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
