Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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