blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
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