You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
