haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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