Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
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