Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Randomize
