new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Randomize