I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
