Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
