Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
