eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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