also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Randomize
