therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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