My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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