i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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