I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
