i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Randomize
