Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
