Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
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