Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
