TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Randomize
