I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
