I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
Swine flu is the new snow day.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Blood and glitter go together right?
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Randomize
