One girl and one boy is just not enough.
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize
