so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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