How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Randomize