my being single is dangerous.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Randomize
