had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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