Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
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