Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Randomize
