i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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