who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
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