I feel great
I just peed on a car
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
