You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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