After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Randomize
