white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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