i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
That's how pantless uber rides happen
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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