im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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